Channeling Botticelli

And odd thing happened to me as I searched for a new project following my disastrous "Faces of Frisco" project.  O.K., not disastrous.  Just disappointing.  I thought people would like seeing their visage on the wall and want to give my over-sized acrylics a permanent home in their media room.  Regardless I had fun.  And isn't that what it's all about?  Two people who know a lot about art bought two of the portraits.  God bless them.  But getting back to Botticelli...here I was searching for a new project when Sandro Botticelli came to me in a dream.  "Caio, Neilo," he said.  "I need someone to update my portraits.  I want to give them a contemporary twist.  I want to see them in the latest from the GAP."  So at Sandro's behest, I have started updating his portraits.  I haven't heard back from him, but I think they look better already.  I mean, the clothes that they were wearing in the sixteenth century now look so, well, dated.  I hope to continue this project until I run out of images or someone from the Botticelli Preservation Society approaches me with a cease and desist.  Believe me, if the price is right, I'll consider it.   

Patrons Found

The deadline has past for the subjects of my paintings to purchase their likenesses.  Only one subject came forward.  Bea, a strong supporter of the arts and key member of our artists' guild.  Thank you, Bea.  (Her portrait is shown nearby.)  Two more portraits were purchased by old friends.  Thank you, old friends.  All got my special "Back-to-School" discount.  I guess the newspaper circulars had an effect on me.  The best news about the sales is that they legitimize my tax return where I will claim expenses for canvas, paint, post cards, wine for the reception, wine for my patrons and wine for the artist himself.  (I find I get more inspiration from Cab than Merlot.  How about you?)  Oh, yes, and a portion of my earnings return to the artists' guild to fund future projects which is a good thing.  By the way, there are still 21 portraits without owners and if you send me a copy of your passport photo there's a good chance I can doctor one of them to look just like you.  Think about it.  My "Back-to-School" discount runs out August 25th.  

Don't Quit Your Day Job

Well, the clock is ticking.  And so far only one of my subjects has come forward with an offer to purchase their painting.  The price is $100.  A wise person might make a gamble on the fact that the value could increase once I die and am finally discovered via my letters to my brother Theo, er, Donald, asking for money.  I believe a van Gogh recently went for $66 million at Christies. Come on, people, take a chance.  Anyway, today I moved the exhibit to a retirement community in Frisco where we fill the walls with art.  The activities director, on seeing my work, was speechless.  She's either in the "this guy will be very valuable when dead" camp or in the "this is a terrible mistake" camp.  If she's in the latter, I will have some more work to do taking down paintings soon.